Onto the Next One
Welcome back to another week of school advice, wisdom, lessons and knowledge. For the final week of the School Series: College Edition, I will focus on sharing some tips and tricks for new or returning college students. In the first post “In the Woods”, I share my experience at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, which you can check out here. Then, in the second post “Home Sweet Home”, I discuss my choice to return home and attend Elgin Community College. To read that post, click here. Also, if there is any advice that you would like to share for new, current, or returning students, please comment down below or connect with me on any of my other socials, including “Inspire Those Who Inspire You” Facebook page, my Instagram account @inspire.those.who.inspire.you, or my TikTok account @inspire.those.
A frequent post-graduation question I get asked is why I chose to attend school in Texas and more specifically why UNT. For some backstory, back in high school, I wanted to go out of state to attend college. I was ready to fly the coop and adventure out on my own. I believed I would discover who I wanted to be without certain influences around me. Most importantly, I wanted change. I thought if I stayed in my hometown that either one day I would have regrets or two I’d be too comfortable to ever want to leave my hometown again. To put it more clearly, I knew deep down that the only thing that would teach me to stand up for myself or learn to operate on my own was to was to challenge myself. So, that’s what I did.
As for the reason why Texas was my desired destination, it was my home away from home. For as long as I can remember, I have had family in Texas. Every summer I would spend a couple weeks down there visiting. Majority of the time we’d go to Dallas. Other times, we’d travel elsewhere throughout the state. We went to NASA once as well as to the Gulf of Mexico once. While visiting, I enjoyed the hot weather, finding geckos in the house, painting with my grandpa, feeding my grandparents fish, and swimming in the pool.
When I started touring colleges, I knew the location I wanted to move to but the school was still unknown. For a bit, I really liked the University of Texas-Dallas. The campus was just what I imagined, it was located in Dallas not too far from my family, and there were things I enjoyed about the school. The downside was that the school offered the International Relations major whereas, I was interested in the International Studies major. Although the majors are similar enough, International Studies examines societies, cultures, and languages as well as systems of government. Meanwhile, International Relations, is a bit more political based, in my opinion. There is an emphasis on global affairs, economics, and law. Once I realized this, I started to turn my attention towards other Texas universities. I toured the University of Texas at Austin, Texas Christian University, and University of North Texas.
Although all the other schools were awesome in their own right, I made the decision to attend UNT because of their International Studies Program. I loved the setup. There were three different sectors within the International Studies major. One, was similar to that of the United Nations, International Police Force, and Peace Corps. I also had family members who attended UNT. And if I were to get really specific, I enjoyed being in the Texas heat, I was looking for a medium sized school, and I loved the layout of the school.
If there is one thing I could change, it would have been to start looking at colleges sooner. In high school, I only visited two schools and in college, I toured four. My recommendation is to try to tour as many colleges that peak your interest as possible. If you do, try to speak with current students about their experience. Also, take the time to find out about the school’s scholarships, first year or transfer requirements, dining halls on campus, if the school is more of a commuter school, extra-circulars, and cost per semester. The more you find out, the better prepared you will be. Like anything in life, it may look good on paper but that doesn’t always translate off of paper. Throughout the process, it’s about finding a school that’s great for you.
During my time there, I lived in an off-campus apartment. It had four bedrooms and two bathrooms. The bedrooms were at the end of the halls along with the bathrooms and the kitchen and living room were in the middle. Upon moving in, I didn’t know any of the roommates, but once I had the opportunity to get to know them all, they were cool. Whether you will have this experience with a dorm roommate, in an apartment, or even a house, I suggest trying to reach out ahead of time. It makes it easier to plan with limited space, food, and furniture. Plus, it gives you a chance to get to know your future roommate.
At the same time, if you find that your roommate doesn’t work out. It is okay too. As someone who has had experience in this regard, there are a few things you can do. One, is to inform your dorm manager, office manager, or landlord of the situation and figure out your options. If you are unable to move for whatever reason, I suggest trying to work it out with your roomies as much as possible whether that is by setting boundaries or giving each other space. It is a lot less of a headache without involving a third party. However, if it is needed in your situation, don’t hesitate to update the manager or landlord on the situation. Now if there are any threats made, discontinue the conversation and report the situation immediately. There are more important things, including your life.
Over the course of my time at UNT, I had several questionable and/or scary moments. Some were scary in a heart-stopping way and others were downright frightening. However, in those moments, I learned an important lesson which was to trust my gut instinct. If you feel as though your life is in danger at anytime or your gut instinct is telling you something is off, listen to it. Get out of there immediately and call 911. It could save your life.
The first example that comes to mind was when I would frequent a park nearby. On occasion, there would be this middle aged man in a wheelchair hanging around. Sometimes, he’d stop people to preach about his religious beliefs. Other times, he would talk just to talk. I assumed he might’ve been lonely. One day as I was running around the park, I noticed he was following my pathing. I figured that he decided to start out the same way I did. I didn’t give it much thought. To put things in perspective, there was a big loop and small loop and in the middle there was a path through the trees. The rest of the park was pretty open. One side backed up to trees and the other side next to a neighborhood street. It wasn’t a hiking trail where there were different openings to trails that broke off. It was only the one so it was easy to appear as though you are following someone. However, one time as I crossed through the middle, I stopped and took a break to catch my breath and drink some water. While I recovering, I was watching to see if he was still following. He stopped at the fork and appeared to be looking around. As soon as he saw me, he started heading in my direction. Immediately I ran back to my car and drove off. I felt a little uneasy and weirded out afterward.
After taking a couple days off from running there, I went back. He was nowhere in sight and I started to let my guard down again. But just as I did the next day he was at the park again. And this time things went differently. Not only did he watch me as I pulled into a parking space, but he came over and waited outside of the driver side door. It made me instantly uncomfortable so I called up my mother for advice. I thought he would get the hint or he would get bored and leave. He didn’t. At this point, he was hanging around right behind my car. When I got out of the car, he handed me a miniature Bible and began talking. This time around I didn’t care to pay attention as I was already creeped out. So, I told him an excuse and immediately started my run. As I was running around the small loop, I looked over my shoulder and there he was following me again. This time I decided to go around the big loop so I could add more space between us for when I ran to my car. However, as I running around the pond, he was nowhere in sight. I didn’t know if I had gone too fast, if he turned around at any point, or decided to cross through the middle. I was confused and unsure of what to do next. At the same time, I didn’t want to stop incase he was still following me and I just couldn’t see him so I continued on.
When I got to the halfway part where there is a path through the middle, something felt off. I paused briefly. Just as I was about to pick up running, I noticed there was a different man hiding in the trees. I don’t know if it was related or by coincidence but the other guy in the wheelchair was directly down the path from me as well. It gave me goosebumps. It was in that moment that I decided to make a run for the car. The adrenaline took over. As I got in, I locked the doors, and drove off right away. I didn’t want to stick around to find out. I valued my life.
After that experience, I didn’t go back. I found other places to run that were more popular and more open. I didn’t want to put myself in the same situation again. That experience taught me to trust my gut instinct and to pay attention to my surroundings. If I hadn’t, who knows how that day might of gone. I like to hope that they had good intentions but I didn’t know and I didn’t feel that it was necessary to take that risk.
If you go out for a run, walk, or to exercise especially on your own, always let someone know. You can send a quick text to someone but make sure to include when and where you’ll be in the event an emergency does arise. Two, I recommend going to popular areas where there are more people and it’s less secluded. You never know what could happen. Three, don’t go to the same place at the same time every day. Switch it up, so in the instance someone was tracking your every move, they wouldn’t know those details. And finally, if you see any suspicious behavior or aren’t sure about something, it’s usually a good sign to leave. You can figure something out when you are locked safe inside someplace.
As for another scary experience I had in Texas, it had to do with the weather. It was a beautiful, blue day. The sun was shining and there were big, white puffy clouds in the sky. Halfway through the day, the school system sent an alert regarding impending storms with a chance golf ball sized hail. Since it is uncommon to have a garage or overhang in Texas to protect your car, my roommate wanted to move her car to one of the parking garages on campus. After we looked at the map, we came up with a plan to meet at the garage where I would pick her up and we’d return to our apartment. On my way over, I took the back way past the athletic fields. When I looked over to my right, I noticed dark, fast approaching clouds coming my way. I remember looking at the 25mph speed sign and noticing the white car in front of me going 15mph. It was then that I knew I was going to get caught in the storm.
When I finally had an opportunity to turn left and head back in the direction of my apartment, it was too late. The storm hit. Suddenly it was almost impossible to see. The sky was a deep, dark gray color. The rain was coming down sideways. And just as I was about to go straight from the four way stop sign, a student crossed the street. He blended right in with the sky. Luckily, since he was running and trying to take cover from the storm that’s how I noticed him. As I made my way back around the school, I was stopped at the light right down the street from my place when the tornado sirens went off. In a panic, I headed to the nearest shelter which was a different parking garage. Once inside I got out of my car and tried to figure out if there was a stairwell. While I was scanning the perimeter, I noticed golf ball sized hail or bigger bouncing off the cement. It would bounce about five to seven feet off the ground. And there were several students dodging hail left and right as they frantically ran into the school.
I managed to find someone who seemed calm and collected. She informed me as well as others that the safest part of the parking garage was the middle so we all moved there. After maybe 10 minutes, the sky cleared up and the sun was shining yet again. Besides the ice balls laying around and the ground being wet, it was as though a storm never occurred. It was a strange phenomenon. I hadn’t experienced anything like it before. When I returned back to my apartment, I still hadn’t heard from my roommate. I became concerned so I tried to call her a couple of times. She didn’t pick up but eventually when she did call me back, she told me what happened to her. It turned out that she had gotten into a car accident when the storm started. Never in a million years, did I think we would be caught in that storm. It was such a surprise that it caught both of us off guard that day. But if there is anything I took from that situation, it is to prioritize our lives over materialistic possessions, including our cars. Everything else is replaceable. The other lesson I learned that day was how the weather can change in an instant. To prevent learning the lesson my roommate and I did, I suggest keeping tabs on local stations or up-to-date news when a storm in passing through your area.
Aside from that experience, there were a couple other instances of tornadoes. With those same roommates, we witnessed a funnel cloud. In a different night the sky appeared to be a dark green/gray color as the sirens were blaring non-stop. We noticed the rain started to come down sideways and the wind started to pick up. Unfortunately, our apartment was facing away from that storm. So, we went out into the open hallway to get a better look and that is when we saw the funnel cloud almost directly in front of us about half a mile north of our location. The clouds were spiraling upwards. Although it was a cool experience, it was still terrifying. Fortunately, during my time there in Texas none hit the area.
Another experience I have is when a friend and I were taking a late night drive around the countryside. At one point, we didn’t really know where we were. As we were driving along this road, headlights suddenly appeared right in front of us. Once I realized that this car was driving on the wrong side of the road, I drove up the curb and onto the side of the road immediately to dodge the car. The car behind me tried holding down their horn to alert the driver but they continued on the course. So, that car too had to drive up and over the curb onto the side of the street as well. If you are out and about and you notice a drunk, distracted, or reckless driver, call 911 immediately. Not only will this protect your life but it will protect the lives of others as well.
Now for this next example, I was walking over to my friend’s house after class when all of a sudden I witnessed a car hitting a bicyclist. I couldn’t believe what I had witnessed. It was like something out of a movie. When I witnessed the accident, it appeared as though the bicyclist may have hit his head as he flipped over on his bike because of the amount of blood on the ground and the way he was positioned. Immediately, I called 911 and I gave them the location and explained the situation to the best of my abilities.
A few days prior to this incident, I was sitting in my Criminal Justice class and we were going over the material. My professor explained when an accident takes place one of two things occur. The first being the bystander effect. It occurs when people are less likely to help someone in need if others are present. It’s because people assume someone else will help. This happens with all kinds of situations from emergencies to bullying to assaults. Therefore, it is important to call 911 whenever you witness or notice something out of the ordinary. Don’t automatically assume someone else will make the call as they may be waiting on you to make the call. Meanwhile, the second is shock, disassociation, or amnesia. It is quite common to forget the details of a traumatic event that you experienced yourself or that you’ve witnessed because the brain may register the event as traumatic. And it may block memory that is in progress.
Prior to the bicycle-car accident, I would’ve thought it was inconceivable that witnesses weren’t able to remember important details of a crash. However, after having experienced it myself, it was an odd experience. I went from witnessing the crash and watching it frame-by-frame to fumbling the details. In particular, I was not able to tell the officers which direction the bike or car came from that caused the accident. Nor do I remember how they collided. All I know is that the bike had the right of way at the time and the car collided with him. When you really think about it, it is crazy the extent that our mind and bodies will go to in order to protect us. If you are like me and you have become a statistic, make sure to remind yourself it’s a human response. Your body and mind does it in order to protect you from the trauma.
The last scary story I want to share is from a time when my roommate and I went to donate blood together. There was a van on campus outside of the football stadium that you could walk into and donate. We had seen it there for a couple days before we made the decision to go ahead and donate. When we got there, we sat down in a seat. As they injected the needle, I turned away in disgust. It wasn’t because of anything the nurse did. Rather it is because I am not a fan of needles and seeing blood makes me nauseous. To avoid all of that, I looked away. It seemed as though everything was going fine. That was until it wasn’t. Next thing I know, I am starting to feel light-headed and as I look over to my roommate, she starts to shake violently. I was concerned she was having a seizure so I shouted to get the nurse’s attention. I don’t recall if the nurse stopped her from seizing or gave her fluids to hydrate her but shortly thereafter, she stopped shaking. My roommate came too and continued on. Once we both finished our donations, we had to take a seat at the front for 15 minutes. We were given a water and a snack before they would release us. After taking that time to recover, we both felt okay and headed on our way back home.
As we were walking from the bus to my car, we had to stop every few feet. My roommate really seemed to be struggling to walk and I was becoming increasingly concerned that she may faint. She didn’t seem to have enough energy. The issue I had was not the amount of times we stopped so she could regain her energy but concern that we wouldn’t back it back. I wanted to make sure we got back to the apartment so we were able to cool down and re-hydrate. I felt as though because we were in direct sunlight of 80 degree heat that it was the reason why we were feeling so much worse. Little-by-little, we inched closer and closer. Fortunately, since I felt okay, I was able to drive us back home. Upon our return, we both immediately laid down and relaxed. However, after having laid down, my arm started to hurt, I started to feel light-headed, and became nauseous all over again. So, I used the remainder of the day as well as the next day to recover from my symptoms and the extreme exhaustion I felt. It was certainly an unforgettable first experience. Although the experience didn’t go quite as I had pictured it, I’m glad I still tried it. In addition to that, the next time I donate blood I will be more experienced as I’ll know what to expect.
Aside from the scary experiences, I’ve come across, I also had my share of unlucky days as well. In particular, one morning as I had just got in the shower, the water went cold, and turned off. As it turned out, my apartment complex turned off the water to fix something at that exact moment. Then, on my way to class, I narrowly avoided colliding with a skateboarder. A few moments later, I felt something wet touch my hair. When I went to touch it, I realized a bird had just pooped in my hair. After a few minutes, I was able to get it out of my hair. Then, later the same day, I went to hangout with friends at the recreation center. We spent the day rock-climbing.
When I made it to the top of the rock-climbing wall and started to descend, I realized I was stuck. I tried leaning far back into the harness but nothing came of it. It wasn’t budging. Shortly after that, my friend who was belaying me had to get her supervisor to help get me down. Once her supervisor came to the rescue and helped me down after being stuck up there for 20 minutes, I was relieved but I was ready to go home. As I was taking off my equipment, I moved my hair and pulled out more bird poop from earlier in the day. At that point, I was done. I wanted to take a shower so bad and hid away from the world. It had been an embarrassing and unlucky day. The one positive that remains is how funny of a story it is to tell now. In the moment, it wasn’t nearly as funny but I still managed to laugh at myself. And so should you. A good laugh is needed every once in a while.
Before I go into some of my favorite memories at UNT, I want to discuss another emotion that I experienced quite frequently. It was homesickness. After such a big transition across state lines and moving four states away, there were times I wished I could’ve celebrated with my family or friends back home. But it wasn’t a realistic option for me. Rather I had to learn to not only sit with those emotions but to also deal with them.
Fortunately, I had met some people from the Chicagoland area early into the semester. So, I’d reach out to them for comfort and support. Often times, it would help make me feel at ease. As for my friends and family back home, I’d schedule video chats. I would contact my parents on a regular basis and try to stay up-to-date with my friends via social media. If that didn’t help, I would reach out to friends or family for further support. I wasn’t afraid to express my feelings or let them know how much I missed them. From there, we’d set up a time to chat.
One of the lessons I learned was to stick to a schedule. It creates a habit in a way. A good way to think about it is as though you are joining a club. By being more consistent with it, such as keeping the same date or time, as often as you’d like, it makes it easier to schedule other plans. Now when a friend wants to hangout, you already know that on the third Tuesday of the month at 6pm, you’re busy. Another reason to think of the commitment as a club is so you don’t get in the habit of postponing or cancelling the engagement all together. Not only can it be a pain to reschedule but by frequently postponing, it can foster a sense of resentment or distance in a relationship.
As far as connecting, my friends and I tried various platforms. We used Skype (not sure if it is still around), FaceTime, Google Meet, HouseParty, Instagram Video Call, WhatsApp, and Facebook Video Call as well as potentially others. I believe my friends and I often used Google Meet (I’m not sure it was called that at the time, however). We used FaceTime and HouseParty as well. The Google platform worked the best for us. Even though the screen would freeze on occasion or became muffled at times, it was the most reliable platform. However, if you are looking for an app that would not only allow you to catch up with friends over video chat but also allow you to play games together, I’d suggest looking into Houseparty. It’s hilarious and such a great time. Honestly, it is my favorite platform to use. Other apps I have used over the years to stay in contact with friends include Snapchat (I have an account but don’t use it anymore) and Instagram. If you are looking to play games specifically, there are plenty of games out there but my personal favorites are Game Pigeon and Wavelength. Let me know down below what are some of your favorite applications or platforms.
A few of my favorite memories at UNT include a little bit of everything from sports and adventure with friends, to holiday festivals and southern hospitality. The first example is when my roommate and I decided to make a trip down to Dallas to watch UNT Mean Green take on Southern Methodist University Mustangs for a Football game. It was the first time either of us attended an SMU game and an away game. Since SMU is our rival, we were intrigued on going to the game. As we were walking into the stadium, the campus was clean, the flowers were beautiful, and the weather was perfect. While we were in our seats taking in the lovely atmosphere, we met this guy who was sitting behind us. He was funny and kind. Perhaps, it was the southern charm but he was good at making us laugh. Although I don’t remember which team won, both my roommate and I had a great time. It’s a memory I’ll treasure forever.
Another great memory I had was Spring Break. As I mentioned earlier in this post, I would feel homesick from time-to-time. It occurred more frequently during breaks or holidays aka when other students would go home to their families. However, my friend invited me to go with her back home for the week. After we were packed and ready to leave, we took a four hour road trip from Denton, Texas to a suburb of Houston where we remained for the week. During that span, she showed me where she grew up, her old stomping grounds, some of the mansions or other houses on stilts. We also met up with a friend of hers and visited Galveston for a day. Honestly, it’s one of the best trips I have ever taken with friends.
Meanwhile, a favorite holiday tradition that I enjoyed during my time at UNT was the Denton Holiday Lighting Festival. During the festivities, businesses create their best wassail recipes and hand out a free sample to the public. Wassail is a beverage made from hot mulled cider, ale, wine, or spices. Not only is it delicious but it is a great way to warm up. Normally when my friends and I would go, we would start by watching the tree lighting ceremony and then, we would spend the rest of the night trying Wassail’s.
As for the southern hospitality, one of the best examples I have is when my car broke down. It was after a long, crazy day that I spent driving to Dallas and back. When I got back to Denton, I needed gas. Shortly after, perhaps, a block or so down the road, my car stopped working in the middle of an intersection. I didn’t know what to do. I put my flashers on, turned my car off and turned it back on. Nothing happened. It was as though my car died out of the blue. While in the middle of the intersection, there was a couple that got out to help. They started pushing the car as I directed it into the parking lot. Once we made it to the parking lot, the couple asked if I needed any food, water, etc. They also offered to wait with me until the tow truck arrived. However, I assured them it wasn’t necessary. I lived nearby and one of my roommates should be over soon. And they went on there way. Although I don’t believe it was solely a Southern thing, it was their willingness, kindness, and charm. It was a sweet and endearing offer of help during a stressful moment for me.
As one could imagine, the car dying in the middle of the intersection was only one of the stressful events I experienced in Texas. Another one was school itself from classes to test-taking to working and having a social life, college is a beast of its own. In particular, I was a pretty fast learner, but a not the greatest test taker. It started in high school and only became more apparent in college. To the point that I noticed a shift in my studies. While still at ECC, I received reasonable accommodations. Everyone was helpful there and gave me the best chance to succeed.
My experience at UNT wasn’t much different. I contacted the American Disabilities Association office and after providing all of the necessary documentation, the rest was history. There was only one instance in which I had an issue. A professor for one of my classes rejected the accommodations. He gave short five minute pop quizzes at the beginning of classes. There was no set schedule. He would have them when he felt it was needed. Anyway, when I had a meeting with him to discuss the accommodations and how I was allotted additional time on quizzes, tests, exams, and finals as well as to take in the testing center, he said no and that he wouldn’t be able to make the necessary adjustment’s. It was disappointing and frustrating to hear. To this day, I don’t know why he refused whether it was out of ignorance or because he already had his schedule planned out and he didn’t want to change it. Whatever the case was, I struggled because of it. I felt discouraged and lost confidence at the time. Also, my grade didn’t reflect the amount of hard work, sweat, and tears I put into the class. However, it taught me an important life lesson about such as how to handle challenges and setbacks. Rather than giving up at the first sign of trouble, I continued to work hard. I am still proud of that accomplishment even if my grade wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I knew that I tried my hardest and gave my all each and every day in that class.
My suggestion to anyone who may be in the same boat is to visit your doctor or a specialist to get the accommodations you need. However, if you are unable to do so, I recommend reaching out to your teachers directly. Often times, they will go above and beyond to help students who are struggling. Or they may even have a better solution. If you don’t ask, you will never know.
The final piece of advice that I want to share is the most important. I have shared this in all of my school edition posts. It is my recommendation to get involved on campus. Not only is it an easy way to meet people but it is also a great way to spend time as you learn a new skill or get better at a craft. One of the clubs I joined in particular was Swim Club. During the first informational meeting, I met two lovely women who shared the same passion I did. From there, our friendship continued to blossom. Throughout the years, we have shared many life events and experienced several adventures together. And we remain close friends today. But it wasn’t just them that made the swim club great, it was a group effort. Our whole team from the leaders to the swimmers were so much fun to be around. When one of the leaders found out I was from Chicagoland area, he started referring to me as “ChiCAgo”. And the nickname just kind of stuck.
Another organization I got involved with was the Transfer Community. There’s different ones but it is a way for transfer students to connect with other students and learn about campus opportunities. The communities are based on a specific interest or topic and are open to all transfers regardless of credits or residential requirements. Fortunately, I had a roommate who was involved and invited me to join her. Without her, I wouldn’t have known it was an organization. If your school offers this for transfers, first year students, or a specific program, I recommend participating. There may be resources you’re aware of or unfamiliar with, you’ll have an opportunity to network with other people, and it will give you a chance to have some fun. So why not try it when there’s nothing to lose.
One of the downsides of transferring to another school is class requirements. Back when I was attending ECC, I took US History to 1870 and US History since 1865. Those two classes along with others were considered basic requirement classes. However, when I transferred to UNT, I was informed that I would need to re-take those History classes. When I did, the only additional information I received was some Texas History. Since those classes were requirements to graduate and all levels could take, there were 300 students in my class. They had to hold them in the auditorium due to the amount of space needed. It was insane. I did manage to pass them again but I just felt it was unnecessary taking the same classes over again.
Now if you are looking to transfer, make sure to check with the school you are planning to transfer too on the credits they accept and focus on taking the courses that the next school will accept credits for. If you do that, It’ll be a much easier transition. Trust me.
That concludes this week’s post. It also ends the School Series: College Edition. In next week’s post, we will begin to discuss some deeper topics. That series will be referred to as “Digging Deeper”. But before I go, I’m curious to hear about your collegiate experience. How did your journey compare and contrast? I’d love to know. You can comment down below or connect with me on other social media sites. You can find me on the Facebook page “Inspiring Those Who Inspire You”, my Instagram @Inspire.Those.Who.Inspire.You or on TikTok @Inspire.Those.
As a signature of this blog, I like to end each post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness”. There is no such time as the present to “Inspire Those Who Inspire You”. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better.
