Letting Go to Grow
Welcome lovelies and beau’s to another post of the Rising From the Ashes series! In today’s post, we’re diving into the letting go theory—the idea that true growth comes when we release our grip on situations, ideas, or people that no longer serve us. It’s easy to get caught up in our own ego, believing things must happen a certain way or feeling the need to control every outcome. But the truth is, holding on too tightly can keep us stuck. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to let-go—not as a sign of defeat, but as an act of strength and self-trust.
There was a time in my life when I felt an overwhelming need to be heard—not because I wanted to be right or prove myself better than anyone else, but because I needed my feelings and experiences to be acknowledged. It was never about winning an argument or having the final say. In fact, I never cared about being right or wrong, because either way, there’s a lesson to be learned.
I don’t see myself as better than anyone, and I never have. We’re all human. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect—and honestly, I prefer it that way. The most incredible people I’ve met are the ones who embrace their flaws, who own their stories, and who live unapologetically as their perfectly imperfect selves.
But let’s be real—being human also means making mistakes that can hurt people we love the most. It means blowing things out of proportion (because sometimes, our emotions get the best of us). It means reacting in ways we later regret, even when we know we should have taken a step back. And the list goes on and on.
One of the biggest lessons I had to learn was how to let go of past mistakes. I used to overanalyze everything—playing conversations over and over in my head, wondering why I said this when I should have said that. Or thinking, no wonder this person reacted that way—I shouldn’t have said that at all. It was exhausting, constantly trying to rewrite moments that had already past.
The truth is, no amount of overthinking can change the past. Instead, of fixating on situations that were out of my control, I started shifting my mindset. I learned to validate myself by reframing my thoughts. I knew my intentions were pure and I would remind myself of this. If there was any confusion or a misunderstanding, I assured myself that they would reach out. With time, I noticed something incredible—things that once triggered a spiral of self-doubt, no longer held the same power over me. Little by little, I let things be. I let go.
And that’s when I realized—letting go isn’t just about past mistakes. It applies to relationships and ideas we hold onto as well.
There was a time when I believed certain people would always be in my life, that relationships would unfold in a specific way. Or if I just did X, I would get Y in return. But life doesn’t work like that. Sometimes, people grow apart. Sometimes, the vision we had for ourselves no longer fits who were becoming. And sometimes, holding onto an idea of how things should be only keep us from appreciating how beautiful things are.
In learning to let go—of mistakes, relationships, that no longer align, and ideas that no longer serve me—has been one of the most freeing experiences of my life. It has allowed me to find peace, embrace uncertainty, and to trust that what’s meant for me will come in its own time.
If you’re wondering how to begin the process of letting go, it starts with recognizing your dreams and expectations of how life should unfold. Acknowledge the shifts in your relationships, and allow yourself the space to grow in your ideas, opinions, and beliefs. In doing so, you give yourself the freedom to release what no longer serves you and embrace life as it is.
And by doing that and taking a step back, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves—our relationships, beliefs, and ideas—all for the better. You may come to the same realization as I once had: I was holding onto certain relationships not because they still fit in my life but out of fear. Fear of letting go, making the wrong decision, fear of change, or simply because of the history we shared. The laughter, the good times, the memories—they made it hard to walk away.
But acknowledging the present state of a relationship doesn’t erase the beautiful moments that once existed. It doesn’t diminish the love, the dedication, or the gratitude I felt for the connections. Instead, it reveals what I may have been holding onto—comfort or nostalgia in the past—that was keeping me stuck. Growth requires change, and we can’t expect different outcomes if we keep following the same path.
By letting go, I allow myself to fully appreciate the incredible friendships and meaningful relationships for what they were—and for what they will always mean to me. I stand firm in the belief, at one point, these connections were exactly what I wanted and needed. Nothing can change that. Even if life took us in different directions, I will always hold onto the joy, the lessons, and the shared memories that shaped me.
If I ever chose to step away from someone, it wasn’t out of resentment or malice—it was because I needed to in order to grow. Whatever feelings you may have about me or the relationship we shared are completely valid. I would never tell you otherwise, as I deeply love and cherish all the close relationships I’ve had over the years. My only hope is that you continue to live your life fully, chase your dreams, and find the people who inspire, uplift, and support you—just as you once did for me.
The same applies to ideas and situations. We are constantly evolving and with that evolution comes with the ability to shift our perspectives. You are not bound to the beliefs or opinions you once held. With the vase amount of information available today, it's not hypocritical to change your mind—it’s a sign of growth. Being open to new perspectives, questioning what you once believed and allowing yourself to learn from different viewpoints isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength.
This goes for situations as well. It’s easy to see things one way—through our own lens, shaped by our own emotions and experiences. But when we take a step back and listen to all sides, we often realize that what seemed like a clear cut issue was really just a matter of miscommunication or misunderstanding. Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation, an open mind, and a willingness to see beyond our initial reaction to find a resolution. It is something I often encouraged in a past role and one I bring forth in conversations. We learn and grow more from a situation that allows for us to interact with those who have different opinions or viewpoints than we do than in the event, we don’t get the opportunity.
At its core, the let go theory isn’t about forgetting the past, erasing memories, or dismissing what once mattered to us. It’s about freeing ourselves form what no longer serves us—whether that be past mistakes, outdated beliefs, relationships that have run their course, or the need to control an outcome.
When we allow ourselves to release what’s holding us back, we create space for growth, healing and new opportunities. We give ourselves permission to evolve, to see things from new perspectives, and to embrace life as it unfolds—not just as we expected it to be.
Rising from the ashes isn’t about being unchanged by what we’ve been through—it’s about using those experiences to shape us into someone stronger, wiser, and more at peace. And that all begins with letting go.
So, as you move forward, ask yourself, what am I holding onto that is keeping me stuck? And what would happen if I chose to let it go?
For the next post in the Rising From the Ashes series, be sure to check back on Monday, February 24th, 2025.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
**These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.**
